I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
