Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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