Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
