I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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