I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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