belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
only if we run a train.
done.
please come you make the beer taste better
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
