You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So apparently I’m into choking now
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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