I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
