Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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