She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize