i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
