All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
