So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize