it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
