I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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