Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
