Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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