I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
