PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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