Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
