well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
