You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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