You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize