Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
