Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
