Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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