Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
