the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I wear drunk well.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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