I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
