perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
