he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
