either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
