I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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