ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
