I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
