Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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