It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
