just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
