Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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