I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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