I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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