I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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