It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just had sex bonerless
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
