I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
