I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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