I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
