i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it's like heaven, but drunker
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
