I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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