Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
