roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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