My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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