Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't deserve a penis
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize