I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize