Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
