Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
