its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Is it penis luge time yet?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
