Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
