So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
