my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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