we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
