i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
