Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
