Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
