let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize