marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Small penises have feelings too.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
