Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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