dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
