yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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