I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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