I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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