i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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